


Lose control

by Turn_Into_Earth_Castiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Bottom Dean Winchester, Butt Plugs, Canon Compliant, Crying, Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester, Edgeplay, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gentle Dom Castiel (Supernatural), Happy Ending, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Sex Toys, Subdrop, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:41:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27121973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turn_Into_Earth_Castiel/pseuds/Turn_Into_Earth_Castiel
Summary: When Sam and Cas decide to go on a hunt against Dean's wishes (meaning, orders), Cas has his mind set on making Dean lose some control, and what better way is there than doing so in bed?But things don't go as planned and Dean ends up very hurt.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 138





	Lose control

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is canon compliant , except for the fact that Mary is a great cook.
> 
> Happy ending!  
> Enjoy

You're not going alone on that hunt!" Dean was practically yelling.

Sam caught a case down in Ohio, a nasty ghost so it seemed. Only problem was, the boys have invited Mary and Donna over for a few days to celebrate Donna's birthday, and they were arriving tomorrow morning. 

Dean was demanding Sam would call up Garth and send him instead, or look for someone else; he couldn’t leave his best girls high and dry, and he obviously wasn't gonna let people die. He was just willing to let this one go, to another well trained hunter.

But Sam wouldn’t hear it. He said he's going and that's final, and when Cas stumbled over to the war room, he immediately joined in with the conversation.

"I'll go with you" Cas intervened, just as Sam was about to yell at Dean some more. Dean raised his eyebrows in disbelieve. What a betrayal! His boyfriend is gonna hear about this, not being on his side. 

He huffed.

"No, Cas. you're not going anywhere, and neither is Sam. Listen you two, I'm calling Garth, he'll take care of it, and Donna can have her birthday with all of us, she deserves that." Dean tried to reason with them. 

Sam gave him a questioning look.

"Dean, since when are you willing to let go of a hunt? Saving people?"

"I'm not" Dean raised his voice. "They will be saved, just not by us. You're talking like I don’t care. I do, God damit, but things are different now. We have mom, we have friends…" he paused for a moment, wanting to say 'we built a life here. A good life. Let's just live it' but he didn’t.

"Sammy, please, just listen to me" Dean tries lowering his voice and calm down. He was half begging, half demanding.

"I'm sorry Dean, you can stay here, you should stay here, keep mom and Donna company until I come back" Sam sounded resigned on going. 

Dean was at a loss.

"I'll be there to look after Sam" Cas added. 

The angel no longer had his grace, but he still had some small amount of angelic power running through him, so even though he was not immune to injury, he had hyper senses and some more than average strength.

"You are definitely not going with him" he looked at Cas.

"And he's not going either" he glanced at Sam.

"But you are definitely not going" he was looking back at Cas with a deadly stare. 

He wasn’t gonna let his boyfriend go on this stupid hunt, running around killing ghosts without even having him there as back up.

"Dean, stop it. If Sam is going on this hunt, he should at least have me there. You stay here and we'll be back as soon as possible." Cas was trying to placate him, but Dean was just rolling his eyes in response. 

"No. I said no, why is this so unclear to the both of you? I want you here in the bunker, and if I can't come with, nobody goes and that's final" he was yelling again.

"Dude, relax. It's not like I never hunted alone, plus Cas is with me so what are you all worked up about?" Sam was honestly confused, but he also didn't really care all that much. No one was gonna tell him what to do, not even his big brother.

"I'm gonna pack my stuff." Sam said. 

"Cas, if you're coming with, we leave first thing in the morning" he looked at Cas and they exchanged smiles and nods of confirmation. 

Dean wanted to punch them both.

"He's not going" Dean kept saying at Sam as he walked away. 

Cas rolled his eyes.

"I am. Stop being a child, Dean." Cas said with a stern face. He was getting angry. Trying to please Dean can be exhausting. 

Dean was so angry and a little sad that his boyfriend doesn’t care in the slightest, of what he's asking him to -not- do. 

He stormed off and went into their shared bedroom, slamming the door behind him. 

He sat on the bed, head in his hands, thinking, feeling a little choked up, when Cas stormed in after him, standing in front of him with his hands crossed over his chest.

They stared at each other for a few moments, and Dean could feel the shift of ambiance. He licked his lips and batted his eyelashes. 

That's when Cas pounced on him, making him lay down on the bed, and straddling his lap. He was kissing Dean almost immediately, biting, licking, and forcing his tongue into Dean's mouth, while pulling his hair forcefully.

Dean was whimpering in pain and pleasure, and a little bit of shock, as Cas was starting to grind their hips together. He paused only to undress Dean from his shirt and unbuckle his pants. 

"You need to learn your place, Dean" Cas said with an arched eyebrow. Dean was a little scared, to be honest. 

"My place?" he asked, trying to sound confident, angry maybe. But his hard cock and panting breaths, proved how he really felt. 

Not angry, but deeply aroused.

"Yes. And I think this is the way to teach you. If you're up for it" he added, brushing his thumb over Dean's lips. 

Dean closed his eyes.

"OK" he said in a small voice.

"You remember your safe word?" Cas asked, just to be sure. 

Dean nodded.

"Red" he said in a low voice. 

Cas smiled. He wanted Dean to relax, to let go of all his anger and control issues. He knew exactly where Dean's mind was at – he was beating himself up about not being able to control this, to control Sam and Cas and making them do as he pleased. 

Cas knew he only means well and thinks about keeping them safe, but Dean needed to ease up a bit and let them live their own adult lives. 

The bedroom was the one place Dean truly gave himself over to Cas, submitting to him, pleasing him, doing what he's told with no arguments or questions. They both liked it, from time to time. 

It's been a few weeks since they actually had the full experience with Cas dominating him, using the safe words, and Cas thought right now was the perfect time.

He pulled Dean up and removed his pants and boxers, giving him a once over and cupping his ass cheeks with both hands, pressing up against Dean's cock. 

Dean moaned and leaned in closer, but Cas wouldn't have it. He stepped back and stopped touching him.

"On your hands and knees, now" Cas said in his low voice that made Dean shiver. 

He was up there in a second, obeying as usual.

Cas took off his shirt but kept his pants on. 

This was about Dean, for now. He got up on the bed behind him, sitting on his heels and enjoying the view of Dean's perfect bubble but. 

"You're so beautiful" he murmured and put his hand over Dean's butt cheeks, massaging lightly, making Dean moan and move, trying to get Cas to keep touching.

"Don’t move" Cas added in a harsh tone. 

Dean stopped moving, his anticipation only building up. 

And then came Cas's hand slapping his ass, hard.

Dean gasped and yelled, not ready for that at all. 

Cas was rubbing his hand over the place he just hit. Dean felt his skin all tingly and his cock was begging to be touched. Then came another blow from Cas's open hand, on his other cheek this time. 

Dean whimpered as pain and arousal filled his mind and body. 

Cas continued to slap Dean's ass and thighs until his ass was a deep red color and Dean was fighting back his tears.

"Please.. Cas...fuck me.." Dean was shamelessly begging, Pushing his ass toward Cas.

"Well, if you asked so nicely" Cas said, and went over to the nightstands, pulling open his sex drawer (yes, the once angel of the lord, now had a dirty gay sex drawer next to his bed) and picked a nice black but plug, and some lube.

He went back to kneel behind Dean, admiring his red ass, caressing his body, back, hips.

"You're doing so well, Dean. But I'm nowhere near done with you." Cas said and Dean could feel him smirking, even when he couldn't see his face.

"Please, Cas…" 

Cas opened the lube and squeezed some over his hand, making sure his fingers are nice and coated. He put one finger on Dean's waiting rim, causing the hunter to make some obscene noises. And then he pushed it in. 

Dean's ass was tight, but Cas was patient, after all, this was all about learning to let go and not getting to what you actually want so bad. So he played with his finger until he could push it all the way through with ease, in and out, listening to Dean's pleasured moans.

"Hmm, yes… don't stop" Dean was moving his hips back and forth. 

Cas slapped his ass again, while his finger was in Dean, causing him to yell in surprise, and then he pushed another finger into the man's ass. He was fucking Dean, pumping his fingers in and out of him until he was stretched enough to receive the but plug. 

He removed his fingers, making Dean cry out.

"Cas?" Dean was asking, his voice already higher than usual. 

Cas didn’t answer him, he showed him instead. 

Something cold was touching Dean's ass, and when Cas started pushing it in him, he realized what it was. 

His cock was starting to drip precome as he moaned and panted and welcomed the device into him, pushing his hips trying to fuck himself over it. 

"I said, don’t move" Cas warned him again and slapped him hard on his already aching ass. Dean bit his lip

"I'm sorry." He said in a weak voice.

"it's OK, you just need someone to show you how to behave. I'll show you, Dean." Cas said in a pleased voice and pulled the plug all the way out and slammed it back in, all the way into his tight ass. 

Dean was gasping for air, that was intense, he needed his cock to get some attention.

"Cas.. Cas…need you.." Dean begged.

Cas just kept going, fucking Dean with the plug for a short while, stopping every time Dean was getting close to having his desired orgasm, untouched. 

After 2 times of doing that, Dean was a mess, panting and wanting and needing, willing to do just about anything for some sweet release.

Cas was still not done. He could still feel Dean being in control, even in this state. 

"Turn around" Cas ordered. 

And Dean did that, with the plug still in him. 

Every movement with that thing inside his ass, sent vibrations right to his cock. He turned over to lay on his back, spreading his legs and lifting his knees, giving Cas easy access. 

"Good boy" Cas was smiling, and finally able to see Dean. His eyes were glassy with unshed tears, his hair all tousled, and he was looking restless.

"Please, fuck me, Cas" Dean was begging him with all he had. Cas bit his lips, wanting to fuck Dean so badly, his own cock so hard and aching in those pants, but he had to keep going with what he had in mind.

Cas looked at how beautiful Dean looked like that, all ready and horny and his. Only one thing was missing, so he reached over to the sex drawer, taking the blue tie he knew Dean loves, and went on to tying Dean's hands together, above his head and onto the bed's head bord.

He placed his hands on both sides of Dean's thighs and leaned down to finally take the hunter's cock in his mouth. Dean was moaning loudly at the touch of Cas's hot wet tongue engulfing his throbbing cock. 

Cas was licking and sucking, while moving one hand down to push the but plug in and out of Dean. Dean was growling and enjoying every second of it, feeling like he'll never feel this good again, feeling the orgasm finally building up and about to burst out of him, and then it all stopped. 

Cas's tongue was not there anymore, and the plug was in him but not moving. He opened his eyes, breathing heavy, his chest rising and falling, looking confused.

Cas was smiling at him. "How badly do you want to come, Dean?" he was asking him while still not touching the man.

"I need it, I need you…please touch me again, Cas, fuck me, do whatever you want, just do it" Dean was feeling helpless and kinda lost. 

Cas did love to take control in bed, but he usually didn't deny him his orgasm for so long.

"I know what you need" Cas said and dived right back in to take Dean's throbbing cock in his mouth, moving the but plug again, removing it almost completely and inserting it back all the way in. he was fucking Dean and sucking his cock, all the way from his balls to the head of his dripping cock. 

"Yes, God, don't stop…so good…gonna come" Dean was moaning and rambling and starting to reach his orgasm again when Cas stopped all touch. 

"w-why?" Dean stuttered, a tear falling from his eye.

"Because, Dean, we are going to do this my way. Are you ok to keep going?" he said, a little less harsh now, when he saw Dean's tear. 

Dean nodded, he needed his release, he felt like he was one-hot-breath-on-his-cock away from coming all over himself.

"Alright." Cas simply said and started again. 

Taking Dean into his mouth and fucking him with the plug, and again, when Dean was reaching his orgasm, Cas stopped and waited until Dean cooled off a tiny bit. 

Dean didn't say a word, he was lost in his head, trying to think what's happening here, they never did that before, he heard about edging, but never experienced it. 

He wanted to come so bad, he couldn’t think about anything else, couldn’t care about anything else as he was at Cas' mercy, panting and losing all control, feeling like his body is gonna explode soon.

"Please…please… let me come" Dean was begging, tears streaming down his face, while Cas let go of his cock once again.

"Dean, this is about handing over control" Cas finally said. Dean tried to focus his eyes and find Cas's face. He did, after a few hazy seconds.

"W-what?" he asked, his voice was wrecked. 

Cas felt his heart sink in his chest, to the sight of his boyfriend falling apart, but he wanted to make his point, to take back some control.

"You don't get to decide if you come. I do. I'm in charge in here." Cas was stating. 

Dean was starting to remember their fight from before, almost blocked out of his memory at this point.

"Cas, please… I need to come." Dean didn't know how else to ask, he was so desperate. 

Cas shook his head and that's when Dean realized

"You were never gonna let me come?" he whispered. 

"Not now. No." Cas admitted in a firm voice. 

Dean's lower lip was trembling, and his body began shaking.

"Dean?" Cas asked in a confused tone. 

Dean felt himself starting to slip away, wanting out, wanting as far away as possible, wanting to go into the black nothing and be left alone. 

He felt awfully ashamed of his nakedness and his position, his eyes were wide and finally, after 2 seconds that seemed like a lifetime, he remembered he can speak, and he knew exactly what to say.

"Red" it was more of a breath coming out of his mouth, but Cas heard it and immediately freed his hands. Dean rolled over to the other side of the bed as fast as possible, laying on his side, his back facing Cas, butt plug still in him, as he began sobbing and shaking.

"Dean…" Cas was there in a second, putting his hand over Dean's shoulder but Dean just flinched almost violently. 

Cas backed off just a bit.

"Dean, talk to me" Cas was now begging. 

This is not the way it was meant to go. He actually didn’t think so far ahead, but his attempt to whatever it was he tried to do, failed miserably.

After a few moments, when the only sound in the room was Dean's sobs, he managed to choke out "get out". 

Cas felt his heart crumple.

"Dean, please… let me help" Cas tried but Dean just repeated himself. 

"please, get out" he was begging him. 

So Cas got off the bed, not hugging Dean as he wished to do, and left the room, closing the door behind him, still hearing the gentle sobs coming out of the room.

When Cas left, Dean reached over and pulled out the butt plug. 

He no longer had a hard on, and everything just hurt, his ass, his arms, his cock. He felt horrible and thirsty, but he also couldn’t bring himself to move for a long time. He grabbed the blankets and pulled them over his head, letting sleep take over him. 

The next time he was conscious, he felt like he had to pee, badly. He got up and put some cloths on, and left his room to go to the bathroom. 

When he returned he went straight back to bed. 

It was only 8pm and he was so tired. 

He didn't even bring himself to think where Cas was. He dove right back to sleep.

The next time he opened his eyes, he felt someone next to him. 

He didn't have to move to know that it was Cas. Dean was still laying on his side, Cas sitting on the other side of the bed now.

Cas probably sensed he was awake from his breathing. 

"Dean, are you OK?" he asked in a concerned voice. Dean's whole body shook with the force of his words. Of course he wasn’t ok.

He didn’t answer. Cas reached over and put his hand over Dean's shoulder.

"Can I please hold you?" Cas was asking for permission, trying not to scare Dean again.

Dean still didn't answer, but he also didn't flinch or asked him to leave. He was staring at the wall in front of him. After a while, he felt the mattress shift and Cas pressing up against him, hugging his entire body, not too tight. 

Dean gasped and choked a little but didn’t say anything. Cas was kissing his shoulders. 

"Dean, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel this way.. I'm.. so sorry" Cas felt awful, being the one who put his baby in this position. 

Dean was silent for a while, and Cas thought he might just go to sleep like this, when Dean finally spoke. 

His voice was raspy and broken.

"I'm sorry I tried telling you what to do. I won't do it again" he said in a defeated voice. 

Cas felt like the world's biggest jerk

"Dean, no. please look at me" Cas said and Dean remained still. Cas couldn’t blame him.

"Sweetheart, I never should have treated you like that. I over stepped, I thought I could make things better, make you lose some control, so you'll feel better about me and Sam doing things on our own. I obviously have very poor judgment". 

Tears were streaming down Dean's face again, and he was sniffing his nose.

Cas kissed his head, getting closer to him.

"Is there anything I can do to make it better?" Cas asked in Dean's ear. 

Dean didn't answer. He was so tired and spent. They laid like that for some time, until Dean whispered, "I'm tired, I think I'd rather be alone." 

He didn't know how to say it, he didn’t want to hurt Cas' feelings, but he just wanted to be left alone.

"Dean… I want to be here for you" Cas tried. He couldn’t bare the thought of leaving.

"Please" Dean just said in a flat tone.

"I understand." Cas felt heartbroken. He let go of Dean and got out of bed. 

After a few moments, Dean didn't hear the door, but instead saw Cas approaching him, crouching down so he's head level with Dean's. They were looking at each other.

"I don't want to leave you. I don't want to leave tomorrow with you this way. Please talk to me" Cas was pleading, feeling guilty as hell. 

Dean's eyes grew wide as he understood Cas was still going. It was like a slap in the face.

"You're still going?" he asked in disbelief, his voice weak and soft, and hurt.

"Well, yes. Dean, I can't let Sam go alone. It's not safe" Cas brushed his hands over Dean's hair. The moment Dean felt his touch, a broken sob left his throat and the tears began streaming. He shut his eyes, trying to escape Cas' look.

"Dean…sweetheart." Cas could literally feel his heart breaking.

Dean tried speaking but his throat was all closed up. After a minute he opened his eyes and looked straight in Cas' eyes when he said "please..please, leave me alone".

Cas let go of his hair, fighting his need to kiss and hug Dean, and left.

Dean sobbed, as tears streamed down. 

He had no idea what was happening, he never had that odd reaction to, well, anything basically. But the intense physical and sexual encounter, combined with the actual fight from before, made Dean feel vulnerable and just horrible. 

He felt like his insides were ripped apart, like the whole world was closing in on him, and he was so tired, like all his batteries had run out. 

With all those thoughts in his head, he fell asleep.

13 hours later he woke up to the feeling of having to pee, badly. He stumbled out of bed and went into the bathroom. Everything felt hazy but also better than yesterday. He went back to his room and checked his phone. It was almost noon and he had a lot of missed calls, mostly from Cas and also mom. They texted as well.

Mom said 'honey, we'll be at the bunker tomorrow afternoon, let me know what to bring with'

Cas texted him all morning

'You were asleep when we left, I kissed you goodbye'

'I'm so worried, please let me know you're fine'

'Dean, just answer the phone'

Dean didn't think much of it when he texted back

'Hey, just woke up. Watch out for Sammy' 

He also let his mom know he's expecting her and turned off his cell. He went back to bed and spent the rest of his day there. By evening he finally felt a little better and took a shower, drank some water and watched a movie. He even laughed at one point.

The next day Dean was feeling excited. Mom and Donna were coming over and he had lots to do. He went to the grocery store and bought a whole bunch of stuff. He was gonna bake them apple, cherry and pumpkin pies. And of course, fresh burgers for dinner. He also got balloons and ribbons and cake decorations. 

By the time mom and Donna walked into the bunker, it looked and smelled like Christmas morning.

"Honey, did you do all this?" mom called out as she and Donna went down the stairs. The bunker was filled with colorful balloons, music was playing in the background, and some amazing smells cam out of the kitchen.

"Wow" Donna was amazed to see everything. Dean was coming out the kitchen and met them at the bottom of the stairs. They hugged and he explained Sam and Cas will be back in a few days. 

They ate some great food, drank beer, and had a good time together. 

When Donna called it a night, mom finally scooched over to Dean and put her head against his shoulder.

"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked him

"What are you talking about, ma?" 

"Dean, you can't fool me. I know those eyes. Something is bothering you. Is it sam? Cas?" she just knew. And anyway, who else could it be? He had no other friends or family.

"Yeah..both. mostly Cas. But both. I don’t wanna talk about it." He said and drank his beer.

"Just don't keep things too bottled up, honey. It never ends well" she said and kissed him goodnight as he rolled his eyes at her but kissed back. 

He went to his room, but stayed up for a while longer, thinking about Cas, trying to make sense of it all. 

He was ashamed of his reaction. 

He wanted to erase that whole situation from his mind. He wanted to tell Cas he's sorry he over reacted; That he knew he can't tell anyone what to do; That he needs to learn to control himself, before trying to control others. 

He did a lot of thinking, with everything leading him to the conclusion that he owed Cas and Sam a huge apology for acting like a dumb baby. 

He bit his lip and turned on his phone. The texts from Cas were streaming in, the first one was right after Dean texted him last.

'I'm so happy to hear you're ok.' 

'I understand you need space. I just want you to know how much I miss you. And I'll make it up to you'

The next one was from that afternoon

'Sam and I are done, killed the ghost, no one got hurt, we'll head back first thing in the morning. I love you'

Dean sighed in relief. They were safe and tomorrow will be home. 

He decided to answer Cas.

'Good. Mom and Donna are waiting to see you guys.' Was all he could say. He got into bed and held his phone as he settled in for sleep.

'What about you?' Cas immediately answered.

'Me too' Dean added.

'How are you feeling today?'

'I'm fine. Slept for 2 days straight and woke up a new man.' Dean tried brushing it off.

'Does this new man still wants me?'

Dean sighed and closed his eyes for a minute before answering.

'Cas…Of course. That will never change. I love you. Going to sleep now' Dean was getting sleepy and emotionally drained. 

'I love you, goodnight' he saw on his screen just before he closed his eyes.

The next day he was busy baking Donna's birthday cake while his mom was cooking most of the food. They were trying to keep Donna from helping out, since it was her birthday after all, so she just sat at the table next to them, telling them funny stories about work.

Dean thought about seeing Cas later today when he comes back, and he had some mixed feelings about that. He missed him like crazy, and he needed to hug him, badly. 

But he also felt something strange, that he never felt before. 

A tiny part of him was afraid. Afraid it will be awkward, that Cas will never look at him the same after that humiliating breakdown he had in front of him. 

Dean rarely cried in front of people, and even though Cas was an exception to that rule, Dean still never cried like that. 

And the other thing was, he didn't even touch himself ever since that. He wasn't aroused at all, not even when waking up in the morning. He was a bit concerned. 

He sighed as he took the cake out of the oven and put it on a rack to cool down.

A few hours later he was trying to put some writing on the cake, smudging it as he goes, when he heard the bunker's door open loudly. He heard Sam and Cas walk down the stairs and mom and Donna greeting them. 

He kept working on the cake, too anxious to go meet them. 

Eventually it all went quiet, until he sensed someone behind him.

"Dean.." Cas called in a cautious voice, and Dean put down the whipped cream and turned around.

"Hey, Cas. m'sorry I didn't come say hello" Dean said shyly as he brushed his hand over the back of his head. 

Cas smiled at him and walked over, standing right in front of Dean, but not touching.

"That's ok. Hello" Cas said, trying to examine Dean's face, not really sure what to do.

"So, umm how was the hunt?" Dean asked awkwardly

"Very well. No one got hurt. Sam is resting after the long drive." Cas said and Dean nodded.

"Good. " he looked up to meet Cas' gaze. "Happy you're back" he said sincerely.

"Can I hug you, Dean?" Cas asked with a pleading tone.

"Yes, please" Dean answered as their bodies collided together in a warm embrace. They pressed every part of their bodied they could to one another, Dean nuzzling his face in Cas' neck, and Cas stroking his body in soothing movements from his head to his back.

After a while Dean leaned back and kissed Cas on the lips, soft and sweet. 

His tongue was in Cas' mouth, but it wasn’t passionate at usual, it was gentle and delicate and slow. It was intense, like a cosmic connection they were remembering they had, and they were both panting by the time they parted lips.

"I missed you" Cas breathed, their foreheads pressed together.

"Cas… I'm sorry. You were right, I was an ass." Dean said in a sad tone.

"No, I was. I broke your trust." Cas took Dean's face in his hands.

"I hope some day you can forgive me" 

"It's fine. We're fine." Dean said and pecked his lips once more.

They were interrupted by mom going in the kitchen, giving Dean a knowing smile of approval. Cas pus his arm around Dean's shoulder in a possessive way, smiling brightly, and they all began getting dinner ready.

Hours later, the party was done, all the food was consumed, and everyone complimented on Dean's cake that turned out great and pretty. 

He was in bed with Cas, who was spooning him from behind and showering kissed over his head, cheek, arms.

Dean was all pressed up against Cas and he could feel the angel's hard cock through his sweatpants, pressing up against Dean's thighs. Cas was bucking his hip just a bit, looking for friction. 

Dean didn't say a word, but when Cas put his hand over Dean's groin, he gasped he grabbed his hand instinctively, moving it away.

"Dean?" Cas was alarmed. Dean was too. He hated sharing his feelings like that. But he had no choice.

"Sorry. Not in the mood" Dean said as he bit his lip. He hoped that would be enough.

"Since when are you not in the mood?" Cas asked gently. 

Dean's face got all red.

"Cas… I don’t know." Dean started but went quiet. 

He really didn’t know how to express what he was feeling. 

Cas was hugging him tighter and he leaned into him, searching for comfort.

"Don’t worry about it." He whispered in Dean's ear.

"Turn around" he told Dean and the man obeyed, turning over to be face to face with Cas. he looked scared.

"Are you afraid of me, Dean?" Cas could barely say the words, but he did.

"No, of course not. I don't wanna talk about it, Cas. please.." he said and looked away from Cas.

"You still want me here in your bed?" Cas was so unsure. Perhaps he should leave? He could see Dean was not ok.

"Yes, I very much want you in my bed, Cas. Want to hug you and sleep with your arms around me. Ok?" Dean said in a shy voice as he looked into Cas' eyes. Cas smiled in understanding.

"Sounds perfect." 

Cas pulled Dean completely on top of him, with both of Dean's legs straddling his lap, his head resting on Cas' chest. Cas was holding Dean's ass as he kissed the top of his head. He caressed his butt cheeks and thighs through his boxer briefs and there was nothing sexual about it.

"I love you, Dean." He murmured and Dean clung to him even tighter.

"Thank you for loving me" he answered and drifted off to sleep.

~~~

It took them a few more weeks to have sex again. 

Cas never pushed, and Dean never tried. 

He didn't feel like himself. 

Everything was going fine; they were all happy and enjoying some free time at the bunker with mom. He and Cas were back to normal, more in love than ever. 

But they just stopped having sex. 

Every night Dean would feel Cas' hard cock pressing against him by accident, and they would both just ignore it go to sleep. 

They didn't speak about it.

One night, they were up late at night, talking for hours about music and movies. 

Cas' face was resting on Dean's chest as they cuddled together, chatting and laughing. It was almost 3am when the conversation died down, but they were still wide awake. 

Dean was stroking Cas' hips and after some time, moved his hand to grab his ass. Cas moaned in approval. Dean felt like the denim was in his way, he wanted to feel Cas, he missed him so much. 

He pulled down his boxers a bit, exposing Cas' bubble but, and started kneading it. Cas scooched even closer to Dean's body, his cock starting to get hard against Dean's thigh. 

Dean parted Cas' butt cheeks and brushed his index finger in his hole, playing with it, making Cas cry out with pleasure. He gently pushed his finger in.

"Dean.." Cas was already wrecked from the touch that he was missing for so long. 

Dean took Cas' hand and placed it over his cock, showing him how hard he was.

And before Cas knew it, he was on his back, Dean straddling his hips. He leaned in to kiss Cas, grinding their cocks together. They were both moaning and panting and so horny from weeks of no sex. 

Cas grabbed Dean's ass tightly, trying to increase the friction. Their cocks were aligned together, slicked with precome. Cas held on to Dean's prefect ass, bringing him closer and closer as Dean was thrusting into him, eventually taking both their cocks in his hand, stroking them together as he thrusted into his fist, rubbing off on Cas' hard cock. 

They came almost at the same time, Cas in a low growl and Dean practically screaming into Cas' mouth. 

He continued thrusting slowly and rubbing his cock over Cas', until he couldn’t move anymore, and he collapsed on top of him. Cas pulled the strong man in his hands, his legs wrapped around Dean's waist, holding him in place. They were kissing for some time until Cas removed his legs back down, but didn't let Dean get off of him.

"How are you feeling, baby?" Cas asked Dean finally, brushing his hand over Dean's face.

"Hmm, amazing. You're amazing. I'm sorry it took me so long…" Dean let his voice trail off. 

"Nothing to be sorry about. It was my fault. I'm lucky to have you by my side, Dean." Cas said and kissed him again. 

Dean smiled softly. "I'm yours Cas, no other place I'd rather be." 


End file.
